Thoughts of Christ, the crucifixion and life for us instead of sin.
Isaiah 55:1-7
Emphasis:7
1 John 4:19


Our nature and actions sent him to the cross, yet he still gave us a choice; what manner of love? I'm lost in my thoughts, thinking about what I would do if I were he, especially if I possessed the ability to change destinies and life in general.  I am cos of him, my dreams, aspirations, abilities, its all because of Him.But all too soon i get distracted by the many vices that seem to compete for my attention. I heed to self,  the status quo seem all too easy, why give that up for hope, an idiosyncrasy that may never materialize. the thrills and frills of life, too much luxury i can enjoy, give it all up? sacrifice my flesh, you call that faith? 

lies I tell myself just before I go to sleep that everything I thought, Said and did was the best I could do. I exist in a mushed up reality , a labyrinth of idealisms that end up in a cul de sac.I refuse to be driven into a place of guilt or remorse that I'm falling into the same  proclivity, a slipping slope I repented for yesterday. 

So why did he choose to still Love me inspite of my mess and continuos nailing of his hands and feets to the cross. The times I blatantly refused his gestures and decide to dwell in my filth. He tore the veil so I have direct access, but I refuse to enter. I retreat and run farther away from the throne by my preferences In thoughts, attitude and  existence.


I have failed him, time and time again I refuse to trust; I rely on my seeming ability to solve the puzzles of my life. I underestimate the extent to which he cares and is willing to carry me. I spit on his face, trying to make a statement, screaming at the top of my voice that I do not need him. Oh how mistaken I was, my lungs burn for lack of oxygen, my body infested by the viruses of darkness, I am blinded by cataracts of doubt and disbelief, it's an abyss, it's all a blur, all I see are ground glass opacities.

How did I let him go? How did I give up my first love? What happened to the bond that was never meant to be broken?  I gave up too soon, unlike Job Who although his flesh perished and his life reduced to nothing,still trusted and praised, I cursed  at God and told him time and time again I could do life all by myself. I refused to see that his love surpassed my lowest estate. There seemed to be no exit for my human dilemma.


But there was Love, the kind that transcended my willingness to accept or refuse, the kind that saw past the blemishes of my filth, the kind that was remission and not just forgiveness. Love shown to me as grace, undeserved but sufficiently abundant. An answer to every question that lurked in the dark recesses of my mind. A light that illuminates the mysteries of life and living, I am reminded that despite my own actions to retreat, this love pulls me ever closer to my God.

Lord I'm grateful for everything, I'm so unworthy but yet you call me your own. Your arms constantly surround me and each time you whisper in that still, calm tone that I am yours, all my fears are melted and my life has a new direction. I thank you for the times I felt like I was drowning, and for the strong arms that rescued me, for the breathe of life you give every time I get cyanotic from my actions. i cant seem to shake off the feeling of just wanting to bask in your presence. i love it here, i love the warmth of your embrace, i love the certainty of your love, i like the feeling of assurance that you have me all figured out.

And like oil upon ur feet, like wine for you to drink, like water from my heart, i pour my love on u, if praise is like perfume, i lavish mine on u, till every drop is gone, i will pour my love on you.

Seleipiri Iboroma Akobo
November 2012

Choices!!!!!

Thoughts of Christ, the crucifixion and life for us instead of sin.

Isaiah 55:7

Our nature and actions sent him to the cross, yet he still gave us a choice; what manner of love? I'm lost in my thoughts, thinking about what I would do if I were he, especially if I possessed the ability to change destinies and life in general.

So why did he choose to still Love me inspite of my mess and continuos nailing of his hands and feet to the cross. The times I blatantly refuse his gestures and decide to dwell in my filth. He tore the veil so I have direct access, but I refuse to enter. I run farther away from the throne by my thoughts, my words , my actions...

 I have failed him, time and time again I refuse to trust; I rely on my seeming ability to solve the puzzles of life. I underestimate the extent to which he cares and is willing to carry me. I spit on his face, trying to make a statement, screaming at the top of my voice that I do not need him. Oh how mistaken I was, my lungs burn for lack of oxygen, my body infested by the viruses of darkness( by my doing), I am blinded by cataracts of doubt and disbelief.

How did I let him go? How did I give up my first love? What happened to the bond that was never meant to be broken?  I gave up too soon, unlike job I cursed at God and told him time and time again I could do life all by myself. I refused to see that his love surpasses my lowest estate. There seems to be exit for my human dilemma.

But there was Love, the kind that transcends my willingness to accept or refuse, the kind that saw past the blemishes of my filth, the kind that was remission and not just forgiveness. Love shown to me as grace, undeserved but sufficiently abundant. An answer to every question that lurks in the dark recess of my mind. A light that illuminates the mysteries of life and living, I am reminded that despite my own actions to retreat, this love pulls me ever closer to my Lord.

Lord I'm grateful for everything, I'm so unworthy but yet you call me your own. Your arms constantly surround me and each time you whisper in that still, calm tone that I am yours all my fears are melted and my life has a new direction. I thank you for the times I felt I was drowning, and for the strong arms that rescued me, for the breathe of life you give every time I get cyanotic from my actions I say thank You. 

 haven't written anything in a while but while underground enroute South Kensington this Am, I had this word on my heart; time and chance. The full meaning of this nugget began to unfold as I had flashbacks on my life and I could not help but be so grateful that tears almost trickled down my face.My life in the last year has been exciting but challenging: I have just completed my first year of medical school( a dream nineteen odd years in the making) lived in England for almost one year( lots of mixed feelings about this), and have a fun summer filled with adventure and excitement planned, this gets me reeling; it's almost impossible to hold back.

The reader might be wondering where I'm headed with this, well the crux of the gist rests in the fact that my dreaming mind could only have seen all of these as dreams when I look back at my life a decade ago. It took a lot of faith and not letting go even when I had reasons to,to get me to this point in my life. I have made tons of mistakes, i have had to question God sometimes, i have even caged myself from the world and pondered the many mishaps or near mishaps that i have narrowly escaped. But in all, i can emphatically say that I have been blessed and highly favored and while I sit here watching the unperturbed fellow train riders in this carriage, I can't help but be thankful for my life thus far.

For the fellow who doubts in his/ her heart about the events unfolding in their lives, I write in response to that doubt; you definitely are not treading life alone, there is a God who steps in right on time. When it seems like he is not listening, he only is prepping you for greater challenges and thus is working out patience in your life.  For the person who seems to have lost the strength and courage to move on, you sure are stronger than you think and believe at this time, you're a light that will give light to others so SHINE. For that child who is afraid to dream because of your present reality, that's all it is, your present, you have the power to change it and that power resides in your mind. For that person who thinks its too late, no its not, it never is; your own time is NOW! And for that person that has given up cos you have failed too many times, at least that's how you feel, Failure isn't the end of a thing, its just a means to create originality; it sends you back to the drawing board to re-evaluate your methods and tweak your goals as necessary. The world awaits the refined and pure you.

Living in self pity and degradation would not help your course...

We were all meant to shine like children do, it's not just in some of us, it's in all of us. The battle is not to the strong nor to the swift but Time and chance happens to them all... We all have our seasons, the question then should be: would you be ready for the "Time and Chance" ?

Seleipiri iboroma Akobo

May 17th, 2012

It is well

Almost a week ago on sunday the 3rd of June, my country Nigeria was plunged into mourning as a plane carrying 153 passengers ended up in an apt building while it was attempting to land at the airport in Lagos. I was in Dubai @ the time and was preparing to fly to Bangkok Thailand.  Once the news broke, first instinct was check on family and close friends who frequented the route, and those were the longest hours of my life as I received news of safety from these folks. But I couldn't help but notice how scared I had become of flying and when my foot touched land, I was the happiest person in the world.

I however, have been in a sad state of mind and have cried in the still and quietness of my solitude each day as I ask God questions of why he allowed such a catastrophe that somehow has affected every citizen and affiliate of my great country. As I pondered on this occurrence, obviously many other Nigerians pondered and wondered along same lines: life is fickle and the next minute is not assured or Not.

I was thrown into a conundrum because my Christian faith and covenant with God promises life, and I'm guessing many people aboard that aircraft or even those in their houses or those involved in the bomb blast at a church in Bauchi that same day shared that belief: so why then did it happen? 

Numerous conversations ensued but then one struck a chord,  wether we live or die is Christ: our entity is in him and that he chooses us and decides what happens to and with us. And that we can not decipher the workings of his mind and as a very dear friend puts it:" his sovereignty tops every law, every morality, every right".  And I was reminded by this same friend the scripture Is 20:12 that already reminds us that there is no searching of Gods wisdom.

My quest continued and daily he gave me a new word: but 1 corinthians 2:16a wowed me further: " for who hath known the mind of the lord that he may instruct him"? And just goes to buttress the fact and truth that Gods sovereignty and ability to make decisions that concern us as individuals, families , nations and the world trumps our feelings, emotions and need for closure. We just need to yield completely to his will knowing that somehow it works together for our good( Romans 8:23-39).

As I read and I'm wowed , I can't help but think of how difficult the absorption of this may be for those directly involved, but like ps 39:4( teach me to number my days cos my life is fleeting) and Job 8:9(our days on earth are like a shadow) puts it, we are not assured of living for ever, the onus therefore rest on us to live our lives thankful for every day, cherishing every experience, relishing moments with family, friends and loved ones and in all staying connected to our source of life(God), so when life is snuffed out of us, we can be sure of eternity with him.

To the victims I pray rest, to their families, friends and loved ones I pray succor and peace. And to everyone hurting and in despair from loosing or @ the verge of loosing a loved one, stay encouraged, it's all part of a bigger plan. We have hope that worketh patience in us that God has us all figured out, hard as it may seem to grasp right now.

It is well!!!

Seleipiri Iboroma Akobo

June 8th, 2012

Solitude

Waters so blue

Tides in waves

Caressing the banks

Like a waltz.

Beauty....

An understatement

An awesome picture

Creations story.

I am reminded yet 

My disposition patterned

My lines in tow

The puzzle taking shape

Ever grateful

Thanks a giving

In obeisance bowed

Never enough Still

Flashes

Engrams,

Memories,

Smiles...

Heart at REST

Sought answers found

bliss 

Because of Grace.

Seleipiri Iboroma Akobo

July 12th,2012

Life...

Our Minds a storage

Our exhibits, its garbage or gold

The decision, a choice to make

The effects; glaring or oh so subtle

We smile at dawn

But at dusk our weakness and pain envelop us

Accolades to our names,

But a void so dark and deep

Nothing to the rescue, we are pushed farther and farther to an abyss

Our emotions a labyrinth, a mess; we want change, but how?

We are beaten to shreds by all, even ourselves

We have lost the bedrock of our existence; our core so translucent, yet no one can see

We cry out for help: we scream and reel in anguish

But no, no one can hear, no one to help; not even ourselves

We rescind in disappointment, we hope that someone will notice

We give in to pressures, debilitating pressures that cause our decay

We hurt ourselves even further, but at the time our minds play a trick on us

This feels good

Yes! it felt so good; so we forgot

We forget the dire consequences; we lose our inhibition, our ability to say NO!

We lose our talent, our footing even our love and passion

In the face of nothing, we lose everything

And then we fight endlessly, year in year out

To undo what we started; the destruction we carved out in ignorance

And all the while it seemed like it would work until the final fight.

It is dark, it is loud, such heaviness unexplainable:

A balance sought but my flocculonodular lobe was gone

I see the light, I hear my name

I try, I really try to awaken, but it’s too late

I lost, in the battle for my life

For my sanity; for my everything

I lost. Now it’s all over and I wish I could have my life back

To change it all from the beginning:

The destruction I carved in ignorance: the oxymoron I call life.