lessons from the past

For too long we have taken many things for granted. we hear the word go but we try not to go and when we are asked to stay then we want to go. We have been asked by GOD to TRUST HIM in all totality but many a times we fret and question his words concerning us. i have been through a very tough five months, i had to make decisions that would affect my life for good. most of these decisions hurt so bad, i felt like a whole chapter of my life was been closed and i wanted to beat my self for it. i cried for days, i couldnt even pray. my mind was a constant battle field. i had to make an effort to stay happy. each time i prayed, i felt GOD telling me it is well and that everything was as it was meant to be but offcourse i was too bent on looking at stuff in the physical hence it was hard to see the big picture at that point. Job offers turned down, and then school deferred for another year, a licensing exam failed, relationship in jeopardy..............it seemed like everything was caving in, i almost diid not ahve anything to wake up to, my family are miles and miles away and it just looked like i was treading this dark road all by myself and the dawn was not going to come. but i kept on trudging as GOD planted people at strategic positions in my life at strategic times.At first i was too involved with what i was going through that i didi not appreciate GOD nor these people for what they diid, but with time it became clear as to what role each of them had to play at the time. Thank GOD for a praying family too. i had to re write this exam that was standing in my way of getting a job, but i was so scared of failing. i had never really failed anything so it was hard to accept this one, and it felt like there was so much pressure on me to get it right this time, i wanted to get it right, i wanted to prove to my self that irrespective of what was going on that i was not a failure. i prayed and thanked and asked and worshipped............i did everything to secure a slot of success and i also studied but as the time drew nearer, i got more scared. That brings me to the real battle of the mind. Most of us are oblivious of the battles that go on in our minds. the devil is so corny and cunny at the same time. he knows just how to capture our minds and crumble our defences. its scriptures, As a man thinketh in his heart, so he is. the actual occurences of our physical man is an outright manifestation of our minds artistic capability. and the devil knows this so well so he camps in our minds, paralyses our positive thinking and leads us down the path of self destruction. we see ourselves as no bodys, failures, incapacitated persons, delinquents, irrepairable merchandise etc and hence we cannot strive to become something no matter how hard we try. our spirit man is detached from our soul(which has been poisoned by the devil)and our body is controlled by our malperforming mind. As a result, we see ourselves making a 360 degree turn for the worse going down a steep slope of progressive decline. At this point, no matter what word we recieve from GOD, our hearts are but soils of thorns and hard rock. we are so non-receptive and doubting thomas' that we in our subconcious call GOD a liar by not believing what he says concerning our situations. i for one had this battle going on for three weeks. i had to take this exam that i kept moving each time it came closer. i knew GOD wanted me to go ahead and take it, but i was bellowing in the defeat of my mind. all i saw each time i slept and awoke was failure, i recieved GODS word that i was the head and not the tail and that i was above only and not beneath and i thought i beleived him, but each time i had to prove that i believed him, i chickened out. it kept on like this until i had to make a conscious deliberate effort, at that point i threw it all on him and told him, if i failed this time, then he had to take the fall for it, not me.I went ahead and took the exam, but i still diid not stop doubting him. i did not sleep for three nights in a row but then when the results were in and i passed, i couldnt help but repent for even thinking about doubting GOD especially when he has sent his word to make all things beautiful.
its not enough to believe GOD, but we have to put into actions our believe by living it and stop the devil from taking over our minds, making us less than we are suppose to be. So join me as we ask GOD for forgiveness with regards to our doubting his ability to seeing us through all hard times and going forth according to his word and not questioning his every word with our wordly rationales.Join the bandwagon and be a Godgetter and not just a go getter.
Grace and peace